A few years ago, I saw a meme that said "people always start listening to Nirvana in middle school," and I'm absolutely guilty.
In the sixth grade, I had a friend we'll call Rose. I can't even remember how we met -- maybe by being in the same primary class (we had two teachers, split into blocks). One day in the sixth grade, Rose and I were talking in the school's entrance... er, room. Um, the front office. The big 'no-no' and enemy of every rowdy middle schooler's existence. Being sent to the front office was worse than being written up for forgetting your belt to go with your preppy school uniform. Oh, and mixing black and navy was social suicide, the school ruled.
Using the big boxy computer, Rose and I started to talk about yesterday's homework, what we thought about dodgeball in P.E., and finally, music. Rose said that she had been listening to this band called Butthole Surfers, and then Nirvana. As a child raised with the likes of Luther Vandross, Mariah Carey, and Michael Jackson, I had no clue what a Nirvana was. Curious, I quickly looked them up and saw that they were a rock band. Hm. Despite being an urban media junkie, I still knew about some rock songs.
For Christmas 2008, I received a game called Guitar Rock Tour where you played as a rising cover band to songs such as "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne, "What's My Age Again" by Blink-182, and "If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback. Ironically, "Heart-Shaped Box" was a bonus track that I never played, but now, standing in the school's front office, it wouldn't be too long until I started listening to more Nirvana songs to fit in with my friend.
A few weeks later, I started scanning Music Choice (this was in 2012), waiting for Nirvana, the Nirvana, Kurt and the Two Amigos to come on, and one day, he answered my wishes. "Lithium" started to play on my living room's television, along with the famous photo of Kurt, Krist, and Dave in suits looking very corporate. I wasn't hooked on the first listen, other than the fact that Kurt said "horny" in the song, and as a middle schooler going through the beloved "that's what she said" phase, it was enough to get me to want to listen to more. The song stopped, and I opened YouTube on my iPod touch (RIP, 2010-2015) and searched for "Nirvana." I clicked on "Heart-Shaped Box" because red! flowers! poppies! and fell in love with the song.
I can't remember every detail of what happened next, but I soon started to listen to Nirvana and other grunge bands from the time. I went down the rabbit hole, from Courtney Love killing Kurt Cobain (which I believed for about three months, typical), Kurt's death, and watching interviews of the band and Kurt in the '90s in (sort of) happier times. On the school bus, I started sharing Nirvana songs with my other friends, and they started to listen, too. Plugging our earbuds into my fake Blackberry phone (it was 2013 and only rich kids had iPhones, and this phone had dual jacks) with songs that I downloaded from a YouTube-to-MP3 fake Limewire converter (humorously, one Nirvana song was really Bush, but I liked it anyway; it wasn't rare to download a song and have it be a low-quality rip or something else), we'd listen to Nirvana. Our favorites were "Heart-Shaped Box," "Milk It," and "Sappy," "Love Buzz", "Sliver", "Aneurysm", and a few others from Incesticide, Nevermind, and Bleach. Listening to Nirvana while sitting in the brown, airless school bus was a ritual for us until I moved away in 2015.
Near the end of eighth grade, I made a Wattpad account in 2010s teen fashion and started writing stories about Kurt, Dave, and Krist. I met a ton of cool Nirvana fans, some of whom I exchanged my Kik with and messaged often. My account has since been reclaimed by someone else, and there's no internet archive available, but honestly, I'm glad since the content of my character can't be judged by my fanfiction. You just had to be there. At the same time, I read "Heavier Than Heaven" by Charles Cross, which I had to lie about because my family thought that Nirvana was a bad influence. I said that it was for a "school project" (classic excuse), so we went down to Barnes & Noble and purchased the book for about $15.00. Reading it, I was so shook and would NOT put the book down. I was literally captivated reading about Kurt and would sneak at night to read the book while I had school the next day. Although it's stated to be somewhat exaggerated now, I still credit the book as a reason why Kurt Cobain is and will always be my favorite celebrity.
Nirvana was the reason I started listening to more alternative music, bands who I still listen to this day. I started listening to Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and a few smaller bands from the '90s like Local H and Soul Asylum. And while it's been 13 years and some memories and details are becoming fuzzy, I will never forget the experience of listening to Nirvana with my two friends on the school bus. The three of us, just like Kurt, Krist, and Dave.
