The Emo Playlist That Defined My Teenage Years

black and white nirvana picture at mtv unplugged

Like many 00s kids, I was swept up in the emo brigade and spent an unreasonable amount of time idolizing older scene kids as a tween in the early 2010s. Sadly, to the sound of a thousand wailing guitar solos (and a tiny violin), scene died out before I could tease my hair to suburban 80s-mom levels. So, I settled for being emo instead.

I'm not saying that these eight songs that defined my peak emo phase between 2013-2015 are masterpieces nor are most traditionally emo -- some of these are... choices. But others, well, they're alternative classics.

Car Radio - Twenty One Pilots (2014)

I was never a Twenty One Pilots fan growing up, except for a few songs from 'Blurryface' -- which, if you listened to pop radio or had alternative friends, were basically inescapable. Before "Stressed Out" and "Tear in My Heart" were a thing, my former middle school friend -- let's call them Winter -- sent me a song called "Car Radio" one night in 2014. At the time, I didn't really get it. Why were they talking about cars? Car? Radios? Car radios? Why doesn't their car have sound? And, seriously, what happened to streaming?! I even searched "what is Car Radio about yahoo answers" on my chunky purple Dell laptop, but I came away just as confused. Still, as a Nirvana fan, I was used to nonsensical lyrics, so I just moved on.

Winter really really loved twenty one pilots, and because fitting in at that age is also really really important, I gave it a listen. and it was... okay. Not bad, not amazing -- just meh. But over time, it grew on me. It became one of those songs I'd revisit during nostalgic nights. Now, though? I can't listen to it without cringing.

Winter stopped talking to me (again) for reasons I will never understand, and it hurt more than I expected. Growing up, they were one of the few friends in middle school (oh, middle school...) who accepted me for who I was. As someone who moved four times as a kid, I cherished having at least one person who I could call a childhood friend. Losing that affected me a lot.

So Tyler Joseph, I still don't get it. I'd have liked it better if my car didn't have sound.

Breaking Benjamin - The Diary of Jane

Yet another song where I don't remember how I found it, but if critical thinking taught me anything, it's... uh, internet? This song was one of my favorites that I would put on around older alternative kids in the ninth grade thinking that my wired headphone sound leakage would be a dog whistle that I was one of them. Turns out that I just looked too poor for AirPods, but a girl could dream.

Smile Empty Soul - With This Knife

When my emo middle school boyfriend broke up with me for one of my friends, I was absolutely devastated and left a widow at just 13 years old. [NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD] and I did everything together -- from square dancing in PE (he had two left feet), to talking about how we loved KORN (I absolutely did not), and holding hands not once, but twice (EEK!), so when the breakup happened, I immediately pulled up my sad crying songs on YouTube and played a few sappy rock songs before finding this MySpace classic. Apparently, the Al Gore -ithms knew me too well and delivered this right to my grieving heart. Listening to this song, I started to cry and flopped right on my bed, never to have loved again... until the next crush three days later.

Simple Plan - Addicted

Remember the days where you had to download songs onto your phone using a Youtube to MP3 converter? Or download a song directly from a file sharing site? That's exactly how I downloaded this song, except it took me five times because the music piracy fairies would send this instead. And I kinda get it. Both bands were quite lovestruck, so it fits.

Bonus: I used the line "im trying to forget that / im addicted to you" in my DeviantArt bio.

Pierce the Veil - King for a Day

Going to Hot Topic, I'd always rush to the band tee section and stare at the shirts that I'd never buy but wanted to signal that I was alternative and hardcore, as much as a 12 year old can be living in rural Florida. Pierce the Veil and other post-hardcore bands had a never ending selection of tees at the store (not Brokencyde, too hardcore), and I knew that the older scene and emo kids loved Pierce the Veil a lot with those big chunky rubber bracelets that I saw them wear, so one day in the 6th grade (2013), I searched for "Pierce the Veil" on Youtube after seeing people discuss their newest song "King for a Day" online. Sitting in my school's library before school one morning, I plugged my headphones into the computer and started listening on Youtube.

SPOILER: Kellin Quinn and Vic Fuentes are two different people.

Wanting people to see hardcore I was, I turned the computer monitor's screen to where people could see me rocking out for extra rawr xp. Ironically, it was just too hardcore for me. Grunge bands screamed, but never like that. But I had to finish the song to earn street clout with the older crowd. So, I listened. And I never listened anymore until years later with a new appreciation for post-hardcore music. In 2022, "King for a Day" had a revival on Tik Tok, and it was heartwarming to see people reminiscing about one of the best post-hardcore songs of the 2010s. Nowadays, I'm more of a "Bulls in the Bronx" girl.

I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace

You either love or hate it this song, and 13 year old me was no exception. I absolutely loved making fun of this song while simultaneously crying to it whenever I was feeling upset, which for a middle schooler, is every 60 seconds. My friends and I loved listening to this one while doing homework on the school bus, and as for me, this is one of the songs that I'd always play whenever I had an inconvience, no matter how big or small.

Bring Me the Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart

Bring Me The Horizon was an alternative essential starter pack band in 2013, so during the height of my emo phase, I listened to "Can You Feel My Heart" when the song released in 2013. Unlike "King for a Day", I actually loved this song and soon added the lyric "I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim" to my Instagram bio so people could turn that blue button green.

In The End - Linkin Park

The first song that I listened to from Linkin Park, unless you count the end scene of Transformers. I have many specific memories to this song, but my most vivid are listening to it with friends and giggling at the "pushed as far as I can go" part and watching a popular YouTube poop that poked fun at the song. "In the End" was and still is one of my to-go songs for when I wanna listen to rock music, for nostalgia, or am feeling very badass, which is like, everyday. Back in 2014-2015, I listened to this song at least once a day. And...some things never change.